Let go of “finding your purpose” to embrace the unknown
In a world that expects you to have your purpose mapped out from birth, allow yourself to be a little clueless
Feeling lost in your career? You're not alone. The pressure to find your ‘true purpose’ is exhausting. But what if you didn’t need one?
There's a scene in Forrest Gump that left me a little emotional when I re-watched it with my kids recently. It’s when Forrest starts running across the country without a clear reason. When people ask him why he's running, he simply says, “I just felt like running”. I never really gave much thought to this scene when I was younger. But last weekend, I saw it with fresh eyes. How exhilarating! How freeing! Also, how impossible, right? How does Forrest dare not to have his life driven by a singular, self-imposed purpose, mapped out and realised through some rigorous routine, but just simply enjoy what he’s doing while getting wildly successful in the process?
I think we should all be more like Forrest, honestly. I want to be more like Forrest.
Purpose anxiety: the weight of expectations
There’s a lot of soul searching I’ve been doing recently, which can happen to you when you’re over 40. You suddenly feel this inkling to revisit your childhood dreams, to see if the decisions you made in life – personally and professionally – were the right ones or is there a course correction that’s needed. This terrible buzzword “pivot” wouldn’t have made the Merriam-Webster list of most-searched words during the pandemic if we weren’t all secretly asking ourselves: What on earth is my life’s purpose and how close am I to living it?
Well, it seems that there’s another word to describe this ailment. According to Elizabeth Gilbert, the beautifully smart author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic and the self-ascribed teacher of creativity and spirituality, it’s “purpose anxiety”. Gilbert delves into this subject in one episode of The Psychology of Your 20s podcast, calling it “the capitalistic theology” of our times.
What if you don't have a calling?
“We've been sold this idea that each of us has a singular, world-changing purpose that we must discover, master, monetise and perfect — and it's no wonder we're all so anxious about it. But the truth is, we don't have to carry the burden of being uniquely extraordinary to live a meaningful life,” Gilbert says.
She also adds that the most purpose-driven lives are by the people who have done the most damage to the planet and to other people. Well, you can’t really argue with this one, can you?
In a study published in the Journal of Vocational Behavior, researchers found that individuals who believe they must have a “calling” or singular purpose in their careers often experience greater levels of career dissatisfaction and burnout when that ideal is unmet. Burnout itself has reached unprecedented levels globally, with a 2022 report from the World Health Organization highlighting that over 40 per cent of workers experience high stress levels and a sense of depletion in their professional roles.
So, in a gist, these expectations to “find your calling” and to “change the world” through our purpose can lead to feelings of inadequacy, fear and failure. They lock us up in the future, because the purpose’s breeding ground is not the present – it’s the mapped-out trajectory of our whole life devoted to something crucial, dare I say it – something impactful.
Four pillars of our professional lives
Interestingly, Gilbert also shares her views on the four important pillars of the adult, professional life that people often amalgamate into one thing: the hobby, job, career and calling.
1. The nourishment of hobbies
A hobby is something you do for fun and because you enjoy it; you don’t have to be great at it and you shouldn’t try to make money out of it. A hobby can be really nourishing for your soul, as millions of amateur sourdough bakers discovered during the COVID-19 pandemic. But science also agrees. According to a 2024 study in Frontiers in Psychology, people who engage in simple creative hobbies, such as knitting, journaling or reading, report higher life satisfaction, greater happiness and, most notably, a greater “sense that life is worthwhile.”
2. The utility of jobs
Then, there’s the job, which – according to Gilbert – you just have to have unless you’re about to inherit a fortune. A job doesn’t need to feed your soul, but it should contribute to filling your belly. You take jobs, so that you can make money, which allows you to go home to your hobbies (and hopefully, lead a life filled with good people and nourishing things).
3. The complexity of careers
A career is a job that you’re passionate about. Which means that not every job will feel like a career – and it doesn’t have to. If it does, that’s amazing – consider yourself lucky. Just make sure you don’t burn out and you still have time for your family, friends, hobbies, healthy lifestyle etc. No one has ever said on their deathbed that they wished they had committed to their careers more (for more insight into the regrets of the dying, check Bronnie Ware's work).
4. The elusiveness of a calling
Finally, a calling is something you feel compelled to do because it’s part of your spiritual fulfillment. Not everybody has a calling, and not everybody needs to have one. If you feel you have a calling, you’ll know it straight away because your body will tell you. But if you don't have one, you don't have to go out there searching for it.
Finding peace in the present
Knocking the notion of purpose-led work from its modern pedestal means we can ease off on this relentless quest that leaves many of us overwhelmed, restless and unfulfilled. We can take a breather, have uninspiring jobs and fabulous hobbies and still lead a great and satisfying life.
I am not saying to not strive for more. I am not saying “no” to dreaming big. The opposite. But maybe just stretch the belief that your dreamy life has to have a defined purpose in it.
Why curiosity beats career anxiety
What I love in Elizabeth Gilbert’s work is that she offers an alternative.
On the other side of a “life with purpose”, which puts us rigidly in the future, is the life of presence, which allows us to witness the “extraordinary, unknowable, miraculous strangeness” of simply being human.
One of the actionable steps she shares is to embrace curiosity over fear. Instead of obsessively seeking a grand, life-altering purpose, she encourages us to follow our interests and see where they lead. As she puts it, “The opposite of anxiety is not relaxation; it’s creativity.” When we let go of the need to have all the answers and allow ourselves to explore, we create room for genuine growth and satisfaction.
Forrest Gump (1994), directed by Robert Zemeckis, follows the life of a simple yet kind-hearted man, played by Tom Hanks, as he inadvertently influences major historical events while searching for love and meaning. The film explores fate versus free will, with Zemeckis describing it as a story about "destiny meeting opportunity", suggesting that purpose doesn’t always come from ambition but from showing up and taking the next step.
Forrest Gump’s idea of purpose unfolding naturally contrasts sharply with modern purpose anxiety, while studies continue showing that 89% of employees all over the world struggle with burnout (Asana, 2023), largely due to the expectation that work must be meaningful and fulfilling. Meanwhile, hobbies like running, embraced by Forrest in the film, are linked to a 27% lower risk of stress and depression (Journal of Sports Medicine, 2022). Because sometimes, moving forward is enough to lead a happy life.